3 days before 2008. Love year? Friendship year? Bitter.. este BETTER year? Haha God knows. I'm just too excited because finally, the uncertain is here. This holiday season, I think I've had enough. I know I said it a million times before, OVER AND OVER. But nothing seems to stop me from doing what I thought I do best. Akala ko kasi yun lang ang kaya kong gawin na alam kong gusto kong gawin. Often times, I stop and wonder how my life is right now, and honestly? Its GREAT, that sometimes I feel scared that it might all crash and burn. I'm afraid to take that one step forward and stand up for me, for what I really feel. Inamin ko naman dati eh, kaya aaminin ko na ulit. I do not have the heart to reach out and burst. My feelings are eating me up, and now.. ALAM KO NA YUN. It took me this long to finally draw the line between us. Nakakatawa kasi ang emo, pero sasabihin ko na ng huling huling huli. ITO NA ITO. I feel so broken and confused, lagi nalang ganun. Its not fine, it was never okay.. pero dahil hindi mapigilan, hinahayaan nalang.
I'm really sorry if I seem bitchy these past few days. Alam ko naman naninibago ka and maybe you're thinking why I'm like this. Its not you, its me. Sometimes, people need reasons to push through.. and now, I just can't find the right reasons to convince myself that I should be all the same.. Its funny but isang malupit na WHAT FOR? And I think I ran out of reasons why I should be nice, kind and giving. Again, I'm sorry. Alam mo naman na magkaibigan tayo diba? Its not as if I'm not over you or bitter kasi ako. I don't need commitment. I feel this, because I do love you too much-- which is wrong, ganun lang kasi talaga. I have my reasons why I defeated the reasons leading to you. I want to give you my arguments yet again, WHAT FOR? Ang labo, pero hindi ko na lilinawin kasi ayoko na lumaki to. We have our own lives now, and this is not the end of us. We still have our friendship right? That will always be constant, I promise. Matagal lang kasi bago nag-sink in na kailangan pala talaga ng pagbabago bago masapok sa utak na ganun kasi talaga. I feel so tired and exhausted that I want my energy to be consumed by things that will make me feel alive again.. by things that will make me breathe again. At this point, kailangan hindi ikaw ang pagisipan ko. Mashado na kasing masakit na hindi ko na kayang tiisin. Mashado na kasing matagal na malungkot ako, na kahit anong gawin ko, nag-iisa parin ako. But now I know better, I need this. Plus, your worries will end too. Friends tayo, best friends even. You will always be special. Pero ngayon, ako na muna. You seem so happy with what you are and what you have right now, you deserve it. You know where to find me, busy.. pero nasa tabi tabi lang. 
Ayoko na magsalita. Yan na yon. Enjoy nalag tayong lahat sa 2008!!
